Being a single mom of three in college is not easy. Having very little support makes it that much more tough to keep going sometimes. You constantly strive to do better yet when there are little bumps in the road they can throw you right off into the ditch unless you have your seat belt latched.
It has been a very bumpy road for me. I started college right out of high school in 1995. I quit with just 5 weeks left in the semester. A year passed before I tried it again in 1997 finishing two semesters then quitting. It would be another 9 years before I attempted college again. At that time I was newly divorced with three children and the youngest only an infant.
For one semester I did half of my classes on campus and the other half online with 18 hours total. Because of the strain of issues with childcare, I decided online classes were going to be the only way I could attend college. Granted in the summer time, my mom was willing to watch the older two and the youngest one's step mom agreed to keep him over night.
After that semester, I tried it in the spring of 2007 but ended up dropping out of that class and then in the summer also dropping out of the class by mid term. The class I dropped out of twice is College Algebra. Ewww. So far I have just concentrated on online classes.
I admit I got lazy and unmotivated, for a while.
I was still determined inside though, to complete my college education. Period.
My best friend took me to my home campus of MTSU to appeal my financial aid suspension. Yes, I was very concerned my appeal would be denied before I got there. With the help of my best friend, he helped by asking me questions ahead of time including why I want to stay in college and how I was intending to stay focused and keep going?
So why did I get lazy? Well, I did get a job for awhile which I needed to support my kids and get out of public housing. A month after that move, my ex-husband lost his job and the child support quit arriving. I thought, ok a few months will go by and it will start up again. Nope.
Even after child support told me countless times I would have a court date real soon I began to get discouraged. Try 18 months later a court date arrives!
Have I received any money yet? No. And every single time CS has finally caught up with my ex husband, he either loses the job or quits it. Does he do it on purpose? I really do not think so. I believe it is just merely a coincidence. He has had ample opportunity to make payments and has made no efforts at all to help.
So why am I blogging about this? Well, I really want to finish college. I have just 30 hours to complete after this semster (Spring 2009). I had money saved up to pay for attending classes in the summer believing I would receive arrearage from CS once my ex husband completed his taxes. Well, here it is the middle of March and he has yet to complete his taxes. I even paid for software that gave me a key code with five uses that I used, my best friend used and I gave to my ex husband.
Right now he owes around $2K. Every semester I have to get a student loan and I figure I owe around $30K+. Why the loans? The job I mentioned earlier ended about nine months after I got it thanks to the economy. I have applied to a couple of jobs and either had to turn them down due to lack of child care, unable to afford child care, lack of support (to watch kids), or I never heard back.
A few years back the former church I attended even let me down. Yes, they had helped me before, but a job opportunity opened up for me. It was part time and paid $9 an hour. I also knew they would be flexible with me since my middle child was in Pre-K at the time and had to be picked up around 2pm.
Well, at the time I was receiving child support for my two oldest and the youngest consistently and receiving a very good amount. According to my caseworker with DHS the Families First program would not benefit me. I was receiving too much CS over the guidlines. So, if I wanted to work, I had to find my own affordable and dependable child care. That was already an issue as I had mentioned regarding my return to college.
I actually got into an arguement with my babysitter because I couldn't take the job since one minute she wanted to babysit and the next minute she just wanted to be a mom to her boys. Really she is a great person it is just that dependability was not in her job description.
Even my best friend and another gentelmen from church tried their best to get the church to help me with child care as they have a full time daycare onsite. Not a chance.
Yes, I cried over this because I really, really wanted to work.
Now three years later, I have a greater issue as to why I cannot work. My middle son Caleb has behavioral problems that seriously conflict with anyone's schedule. This year has been the most demanding.
A few months after school began, Caleb was permanently kicked off the school bus for the school year. This meant I had to pick Caleb up from either school or the Boys & Girls club and take him to his dads house for his grandmother to watch him. This is during the week he is with his dad BTW.
Then, there are the weeks Caleb gets into trouble on the Boys & Girls Club bus thus he gets suspended from their bus for three days. This has occurred numerous times this year.
And to top it off, last week I was informed Caleb is on the verge of getting suspended permanently this school year from their bus.
Early this week he got sent home from school before it have even started. This was the second or third time this year though the first since it was before school.
What about support? Well, that warries a lot. My mom and step dad are helping my sister pretty much full time watching and caring for her four children as she goes to college too. Even before she was college bound they were and have been constantly involved in her childrens' lives.
It does hurt my kids since the oldest two have been involved in extracurricular activities. Out of the last five years my oldest and three years for my middle child have been involved in things they have only attended maybe two or three events. I am talking about basketball, baseball, band, awards ceremonies, skits, etc.
Imagine trying to take care of two little boys while trying to watch your daughter play basketball or play the drums. There are many days I wanted to ball up and cry. One season I lucked out and had a mom with six kids help out with the youngest one for a while allowing me to be involved with Caleb on the t-ball field.
My best friend and his family have helped off and on.
I am now turning the internet and YouTube to hopefully get help and finish college this year.
To make a donation either email me HERE for my paypal information, or mail your contribution to: Jennifer L. Bryan
PO Box 274
Mc Donald, TN 37353
